Philzone.org Discussion Board: Archive 2004: Hep C Archive: "I became withdrawn...."

I'm starting to come out of the weird state of mind this stuff has done to me. I've missed you all very much. I can't explain how i felt, but I couldn't seem to do anything. All I wanted to do was NOTHING. At first I would just check in everyday and read what was going on. When I stopped doing that, I knew it wasn't a good thing. A few of you never gave up on me and continued to call. I love you for that. I might have slipped away for good.
I've had alot of medical problems as well that didn't help much. Still having them. I have the nodules on my lungs that they do tests on every 3-5 mos. They called me one day and made me come in early. I had an x-ray due to something like bronchitis, and they thought the nods had grown. It was a bit of a scare. My cousin in N.Y. has the same things only she doesn't live in Reno and they remove hers. They come back and the last time she had them removed, one was cancer. So, the idiots here don't bother much. There has been a whole lot of things like that. I am reacting a little better to the tx but it seems I have a fever every day.
I don't want to keep whinning. It's just been a bit overwhelming for me. With my mother being ill.....well, like I said....too much.
Good News!!!! I got the results after 12 weeks( in Reno, that means 15) and the virus is undetectable!!!!! The dragon is running for these snowy hills. When I got that news, I finally felt like this is a fight and I'm ready!!!
Well, just wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and let you know just how much I missed you. I also want to welcome all the new people I missed when I got on the wrong bus.
I love you all, Donna

Hi Donna,

Same kinda fog here... and same 12 week results. 9 to go.....

Dan

Hi donna, I wondered about you, I haven't heard from you in awhile. Hope you stay positive and undetectable forever! keep coming back, PEACE Rose

Donna,
Hi, and welcome back. I missed you to.....
Actually you were never really gone, you just needed to get a way for a bit, don't feel abnormal at all, alot of us have done the exact same thing.....and disappeared for a period of time, sometimes the length of time changing, depending on the person or the circumstances.Basically.....you just needed sometime to sort things out, and that is fine sometimes. Sometimes it's not always fine and people really have needed to stay around to get that support and have made poor decisions by leaving, but regardless of whatever happened and why....the fact is that your here now, and that's what is important!!
The past is the past......and it probably won't do an ounce of good to recall it, or to re-live it ( only in rare occassions and that's usually only to think about it as a lesson learned and to avoid happening again).The main thing is not to DWELL on it, and let it get you down!!It's over.....gone, history; time to move on, forget about it....and start living thinking of tomorrow and the good it's going to bring!! And a big CONGRATS on the "undetectable" reading! YEAH!!! That is AWESOME!! So happy for you there........you are truly blessed, and let's keep hoping & praying for a sustained reading of nada.....zero, "el zippo", SVR of UNDETECTABLE !!!!!!

Don't mean to sound there at all like I was preaching or anything.....hope you don't take it that way, just trying to encourage you that's all.....as far as forgetting the past. I just know how I am....and I have this tendency sometimes to sit there and just dwell on some bullshit that effected me bad, and I get nowhere at all! Kind of like you said.....about being in that dark place. It's "freaked" out, and just an ugly place.........don't want to ever go back there I know that. But if I ever did ( or do).....I feel like this time I would want to try to handle it a bit differently, by trying to go through it, with maybe the help of others. I know how hard it is to pull yourself up by the bootstraps ( like impossible!!).....so hopefully we all learn things from those mistakes, eh?

Anyway.....enough rambling. Glad your here, and stick around a while. Hop on the bus with us.....and ask Mack or Rob for a good seat, I think they are handing out seating arrangements this month (LOL)!!

Remember....."LOVE WILL SEE US THROUGH" !!!!

---------------------------------
"Walk into splintered sunlight,
Inch your way through dead dreams to another land.
Maybe your tired and broken,
Your tongue is twisted with words half spoken and thoughts unclear.

What do you want me to do, to do for you to see you through?
A box of rain will ease the pain, and love will see you through!!"
---------------------------

Wonderful news,Donna, "Undetectable". Those words do make the sides a little easier. The worst side for me is the constant "fever feeling" also. I'm glad you're back. Don't go away agaim! Sorry to hear you have so many other complications. Hopefully all are getting better.
PEACE, Mark

Okay,everyone, it's time to turn out in you best dress uniforms, man the rails and sing out loud and clear for Donna:

HUZZAY, HUZZAY, HUZZAY!!!

Undetectable is just about the sweetest word I've ever heard.

Jim

You might lay low for a while, or maybe sometimes you just don't feel good enough to post for a while. But you can't ever drop out of our hearts.
Undetectable!! It's one more thing to be thankful for today. Keep sluggin'- it's a real milestone down, and more good news to follow.
Keep slugging away, Donna- and say Hi to Shirlie for us.

Dear Donna,

I am sooooo HAPPY for you! Being undetectable, that is. Not for brain fog, that's for sure. Sucks. But that will come and go. What matters is you kicked the frickin' dragon's ass outa here! And THAT makes all the difference in the world.

Good to hear from you - don't be hiding out for too long now. We're kinda like a big puzzle at the Zone. When one piece is missing it just doesn't feel right.

Hang in there kid...

With love,

Judith Ann

So glad to see you back here Donna. Beautiful thing about these threads is that even though pholks drop off for some time they're always welcome back to open arms and loving hearts.
This treatments can get the best of us all at times as we all know quite well. No need for explinations. We're happy to see you back!

Hey Donna Congrats on the undetectable. I Hope everything is okay with everything else. Hang Tough.

Donna...Nice to hear from you ...and you have a reason to keep up the fight...undetectable...what a sweet word....
take care of yourself...I'll talk to you soon....peace...mack
You Dragon Warrior You

You're not unique we know how you feel Just be phine It will pass Easier said than done but this is DOABLE Feel Better

Donna, nice to hear from you. I understand checking out. At least now we know Undetectable and the rest of the fight we know we are kicking some dragon ass.
take care

We're hearing lotsa good news lately.
Carol... Undetectable!
Donna... Undetectable!
Hortkie.. You are more than halfway to hearing those words for yourself. Keep it up.
I felt like hell today, but I'm hoping the Dragon's hatin' it worse.
We are all headed for the finish line!

My sweet sister Donna..
Soooo good to hear them SWEET words...
UNDEDECTABLE
And HURRAH for are Texas Cowgirl, Carol, too!

Being familar with your other Med. problems,
please just hang in their, and maybe check out
another Doctor, over the border, in Cali.
Things will work out, just keep that positive
mind-set, you know, just remember everything I
have ever told you. And glad that you know also,
that this hear Phamily of ours, will never give up
on anyone. And especially in your case, Me & Walt & Kimberly...okie-dokie..
Talk to you Donna, very soon. Peace & w/Love,Budley